4 weird SkyMall inventions for pets and exercise

By Aimee Heckel

We’ve all found ourselves innocently thumbing through it: the on-flight shopping catalogue, SkyMall. Cell phone cases, dog beds, a special mat to collect hair while you’re grooming, clip-on bangs — a talking dog collar? Wait, what?

SkyMall is part ridiculous, part comedy, part why-didn’t-I-think-of-that and pure entertainment.

Here are some of the weirdest SkyMall inventions for pets and exercise currently for sale at SkyMall.com.

1. Talking dog collar.  For only $29.99, you can terrify the mailman, scar small children for life or even propose marriage to your girlfriend in a totally unique (read: creepy) way. Record your voice on your unsuspecting dog’s collar and play it from as far as 100 feet away. This brings dog shaming to a whole new level. Can’t you just hear it now? “I eat toilet paper. And diapers. And I love them.”

2. Go-go dog pals. Are you too lazy to throw or kick a ball to your dog? Does your dog bear a particular grudge against remote-control toys? Would your dog really enjoy chasing some mysterious remote-control cross between a gopher, a bumble bee and a cardboard box? Do you have $300 to spare to taunt your dog? Then go-go get this.

3. Protein ketchup. Now condiments really are a food group. This ketchup is fortified with protein. No longer do you have to ruin your ketchup on disgusting things like hamburger, meat and other natural ways to consume protein. Now, slurp it plain and get all the benefits. And for only approximately $30 more than a bottle of normal ketchup: $34.42. Yes, that’s a double-digit dollar amount. And 42 cents.

4. Arm exercise weights. Throw your Shake Weight aside! That’s so last infomercial. You don’t even need hands for this new exercise module. Remember ankle weights from Jazzercise class? Imagine if you strapped them to your wrists. Yeah, well, you could do that. Or you could buy the same concept with a different name for $24.99, and wear it to professional business meetings and terrify the competition (as modeled in the photo). This must-have is a great alternative if you want to lose weight but hate exercising, says the website. Logically.

Need to get your own talking dog collar? You don’t have to wait for your next flight to score some SkyMall glory. Order online through ShopAtHome.com and get 15 percent off storewide at SkyMall.com, plus 3 percent cash back — no minimum purchase. You’re welcome.

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