How do your weight-loss resolutions affect your children?

by Aimee Heckel · January 30, 2014

Your kids are listening to you.

By Aimee Heckel

A New Year’s resolution to lose weight may seem like a personal decision. But if you’re a parent, your behavior around food can also affect your child’s own attitude toward it.

Losing weight is the No. 1 resolution for 2014. Staying fit and healthy is No. 5.

And that’s great. Keep your resolution. But remember, how you express it to your children is important.

We talked with Tabitha Farrar, Eating Disorder Consultant who runs the website Anorexiaspeaks.com, to gather expert advice on to approach weight-loss and exercise resolutions smartly and safely, as a parent.

1. Use your words wisely.

Make sure your children understand that you still love food and that it’s a vital part of loving your body. Explain that you are helping your body even more by making healthy food choices.

“Your commitment to your children can even help you stay honest to your own self by making sure that you live by example and eat plenty of healthy fats and vegetables with your children,” Farrar says.

Avoid the word “diet,” and instead talk about healthy eating.

Try not to refer to any foods as “bad,” Farrar says. Instead, focus on the positives about the healthy food that you are eating.

2. Educate yourself.

Eating disorders affect up to 70 million people worldwide. But “eating disorder” is a rather misleading blanket term used to describe anything from severe anorexia nervosa to slightly misguided eating habits, Farrar says.

Experts estimate 11 percent of American high schoolers have a diagnosed eating disorder. Farrar says she believes anorexia is a serious psychological disorder that cannot be “given” to a child by the influence of parents. Farrar’s website provides more insight and research into the topic.

However, studies indicate there are an additional 15 percent of young women who have not been diagnosed but display “substantially” disordered eating behaviors. For those children, Farrar says she believes certain, non-clinical aspects of disordered eating and an attitude around food can be learned.

For those children, she says:

3. Model healthy behavior.

Farrar says she has worked with mothers who were afraid their young girls, as young as 7, had an eating disorder, because the child was worried about getting fat. Further investigation indicated the mom exhibited signs of disordered eating herself for fear of eating fat.

“The child was simply copying her mother’s behavior,” Farrar says. “This young girl did not develop a clinical eating disorder. In fact, I worked with her mother’s attitude toward food and a few years later the fussy eating that the little girl had shown vanished.”

4. Educate yourself about a healthy diet — and eat healthy fats.

Fat is actually an important part of a healthy diet, Farrar says. Never tell your children that fat is bad. Instead, she says, show them how to eat a healthy amount of good fats, such as avocados, nuts, full-fat dairy, seeds and coconut oil.

Healthy fats help your brain understand that you are full and keep your serotonin levels up, so you won’t feel irritable, like with fad diets.

5. Never bash your body.

Don’t talk down about your body, especially not in front of your kids. Teach your children about self-love and acceptance, so they understand that value for their own selves.

6. Eat breakfast.

Breakfast is an important piece of a healthy diet. Your children are more likely to keep eating breakfast if they see you doing it.

7. Sit down and eat together at regular meal times.

Avoid eating on the go. Don’t just snack while your children eat. If you sit down as a family, you will not only digest better, but you can instill healthy principles in your children.

“Mindful eating will give your gut and brain time to communicate, and you will not feel the urge to snack,” Farrar says.

8. Enjoy your food.

Believe it or not, pleasure is an important part of digestion. Studies show it enhances the nutrients you get from the food you eat. Don’t eat things that you dislike but think are good for you. Find healthy, unprocessed food that your taste buds enjoy.

9. Allow treats.

Sweet things are fine in moderation. Restriction can result in a binge, Farrar says.

10. Avoid processed foods.

This includes avoiding low-fat or artificially sweetened foods. These send conflicting signals from the gut to the brain, so you won’t realize your body is satisfied as quickly as with full-fat versions, Farrar says.

11. Give yoga a try.

The mind-body communication can help you learn how to better listen to your body and identify what it needs.

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12. Talk to a food counselor.

“Many of our cravings and behaviors, such as binge-eating or night eating, are psychological in nature and not really about food at all,” Farrar says. “A professional can help you understand the hidden language that your eating habits are showing.”

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